“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.” — Annie Dillard
I’ve been re-reading Annie Dillard’s books this week and mulling over her words, like the ones that open today’s blog post. Thinking about how to spend my time wisely. It’s a challenge, isn’t it?
Walking the prairie after the burn, I’m reminded of time, and seasons of time, and our perception of it. As I hike, I’m surprised at the volume of sound. You’d think there would be silence on a charred landscape.
But the prairie is bustling and noisy. A killdeer cries its name as it sweeps across the ruins, looking for a place to build its nest. A just-burned prairie is exactly right. I hunt for the killdeer’s nests each spring, but they are such expert camouflage artists I’ve never found one. Maybe this will be my year.
Robins chatter, hopping along the banks of Willoway Brook, sifting the ashes for something good to eat. Overhead, waves and waves of sandhill cranes move high in the air, migrating north. So many! Thousands and thousands. This weekend was host to the largest movement of cranes I’ve ever seen at one time in the Chicago region. Pelicans were migrating, too! Check them out.
Elation! Then I look around me. Such desolation. I always have mixed feelings after the burn. A prescribed fire on the prairie leaves you with a sense of loss. Everything you knew written on that particular prairie slate is wiped clean. Close the book. Open a blank journal and begin a new season.
There is also a sense of relief. All my mistakes of the last year as a steward, writ large in reed canary grass growing vigorously by the brook, or the sneezeweed missing in action in the swale, are swept away. This season, I can start fresh. Daunting? Yes. And challenging.
The fire leaves me with a sense of hope. That thicket of brambles? This will be the year we finally knock it back. We can seed in missing milkweeds; repair a deteriorating trail, add an interpretive sign or two.
Day by day—week by week—stewards, staff, and volunteers will write a new seasonal story together. Every pulled garlic mustard plant makes room for a new shooting star wildflower to bloom. Remove invasive buckthorn and open space and light for bee balm wildflowers to flourish.
Rain, sunshine, snow—-they’ll all help write the new seasonal prairie story. Deer, coyotes, dragonflies, the mink who swims the creek—-they’ll each have a paragraph or two.
The just-burned landscape is prelude to the most exciting time of the year on the tallgrass prairie. New growth. The first blooms.
The red-winged blackbirds sing me along the trail as the sun sets. In the old, fire-damaged hawthorn tree, they mingle with brown-headed cowbirds whose lispy “clink! clink! clink!” calls are percussion to the blackbirds’ brassy song. I try to count the birds—how many do you see?
Annie Dillard once wrote about a “Tree of Lights” —a tree full of blackbirds. I think about her story as I watch the birds settle in for the night.
Then, another sound. Coyotes! A pack. The coyotes are invisible. but their calls are close by. Their wails and yips are both mournful and excited.
Exactly how I feel as I walk the burned prairie tonight.
The visible and the invisible. The old and the new. The past and the present. The coyotes announce the passing of one chapter in the prairie’s story; the beginning of a new one.
Time to turn the page.
Annie Dillard , whose quote opens this blog, won the Pulitzer Prize for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek (1974). Read the full passage the quote was taken from here. One of my favorite sentences on her view of the way the world works: “It’s a hell of a way to run a railroad.” On writing: “Spend it all…do not hoard what seems good for (later).” Read the whole quote here. Wise woman. Wise words.
All photos and video clip copyright Cindy Crosby (top to bottom): bench on the Schulenberg Prairie, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; Schulenberg Prairie after the burn, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; American white pelicans ( Pelecanus erythrorhynchos) migrating, author’s backyard prairie patch, Glen Ellyn, IL; Schulenberg Prairie after the burn, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; unknown species of moss on a burned-out log along the Schulenberg Prairie trail, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; bramble (Rubus species unknown) and bee balm (Monarda fistulosa), Schulenberg Prairie, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; bee balm (Monarda fistulosa) singed by fire, Schulenberg Prairie, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; trail through the burned Schulenberg Prairie, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; 19 red-winged blackbirds (Agelaius phoeniceus)and brown-headed cowbirds (Molothrus ater) in a hawthorn tree (probably Crataegus mollis), Schulenberg Prairie, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL; coyotes (Canus latrans) calling on the Schulenberg Prairie at sunset, The Morton Arboretum, Lisle, IL.
More from Cindy:
Just released last week! Available at your favorite bookstore or online.
Thanks to Shannon at Take A Hike Podcast in Los Angeles! Click here for the interview. Caution! Explicit dragonfly reproduction content in this podcast. 🙂
Cindy’s classes and speaking this week:
Nature Writing (online and in-person) continues this week at The Morton Arboretum. April 1–Dragonflies and Damselflies: The Garden and Prairie’s Frequent Flyers: LaGrange Garden Club, LaGrange, IL. (closed event). See more classes and events at http://www.cindycrosby.com.
Ready when you are for garlic mustard
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Soon! Very soon! 🙂 Can’t wait to be back in action on the prairie with you, Marcia!
The Annie Dillard quote smacked me. I’ve been hoarding for a year and my landscape looks like your charred prairie. Thank you for this beautiful piece.
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I’m so glad that quote resonated with you, Judi! It’s really been important to me. Grateful for you reading and taking time to leave a comment.
Cindy, thank you for writing this. I’ve been too overwhelmed lately to keep up with blogs, but for some reason I stopped to read yours today, just when I needed to hear this message. Today has been filled with thoughts of life, death, aging, and regret. Your words have given me new perspective on some things in my life.
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Dear Kim — What a heartfelt message, and I’m so grateful to you for sharing it with me. I’m glad it was timely. Thank you for reading in the midst of being overwhelmed, and thank you for taking time to let me know. Glad to connect with you via the blog. I hope spring is full of new possibilities for you!
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